THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE FLESH
Sakkie Parsons
Someone wrote to me and asked the following question:
“What does it mean that what God has joined together, no man must separate?”
I assume the person is referring, for example, to Matthew 19:6, but you can also read it in Mark 10:9.
Just for interest’s sake, let me give you some background. John the Baptist ended up in prison and was then beheaded because of his comments about marriage and things surrounding marriage that were wrong, according to our Lord’s view of marriage. This, as I see it, was an attempt by Jesus’ opponents/enemies—namely the Pharisees and their “cronies”—to get Jesus to walk the same path as John the Baptist.
One feels like crying out: How evil and blind can a person become when led by satan! Because standing in front of them is God who became man, and they are trying to get Him imprisoned, hoping He would be killed.
Well then, Jesus’ response to them is not firstly about the divorce they’re asking Him about. Instead, He addresses what is most important to remember whenever you speak about any aspect of marriage—namely, how our Lord views the matter you’re debating, as well as how He views marriage in general. We read:
MATTHEW 19:3 (AMP)
“Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’”
They ask Jesus about divorce, but look at what He talks about. In other words, observe what tops Jesus’—our Lord, God who became man—priority list, when He answers them regarding marriage:
MATTHEW 19:4–5
He replied, “Have you never read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined inseparably to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?”
Jesus is referring here to:
GENESIS 1:27
“So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
As well as:
GENESIS 2:24
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
Back to the question I was asked:
“What does it mean that what God has joined together, no man must separate?”
I quote in my answer:
MATTHEW 19:6
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
The first thing we must understand here is this—when Jesus says:
MATTHEW 19:6
“… What God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Jesus is specifically speaking about marriage—a ceremony, where a man and woman who love one another stand before our Lord and say to each other (to put it in a nutshell) that each will be a faithful life partner to the other until death.
With that in mind—let’s first look briefly at how our Lord intended marriage to be: who may marry whom. I say it this way because, in my opinion, many denominations today preach terrible falsehoods about who may marry whom.
Now we read in the Word:
GENESIS 2:21–24
21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
22 And the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed into) a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man.
23 Then Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
To me, it is very clear here—apart from all the other visible evidence—that our Lord’s intention for marriage is that it can only be a marriage when it involves one man and one woman.
Any other combination, to put it that way, is not what our Lord intended. In other words, any other combination that is called a marriage is, as I see it, not Biblical. That is, not according to the Word of our Lord, and therefore in my opinion, also unchristian.
How wonderful it is to know that marriage between a man and a woman, as I understand it, is a thought that comes straight from the heart of our Lord. This united “one flesh” between a man and woman, as God sees in marriage, becomes beautifully visible to us in the form of their children. Half of the father and half of the mother is seen in their child.
So—for me it is clear: our Lord looks at a man and woman in marriage and sees, to put it this way, one entity—one body. That’s why we read:
MATTHEW 19:6
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
So, what does this mean:
“… What God has joined together, let no one separate.”? MATTHEW 19:6
Well, it simply means that I must not be the cause of a marriage being broken up.
Because the person who is the cause of the marriage between a man and a woman breaking apart is, in effect, taking something, that God Almighty brought into being, and tearing it to pieces before God Almighty, as if with their bare hands.
Because listen again to how our Lord sees a man and woman joined in marriage:
MATTHEW 19:6
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh…”
So let us take serious note again:
MATTHEW 19:6
“… What God has joined together, let no one separate.”
However, I cannot stop here, because then many people—especially women, as I’ve come to see in my ministry—will walk around burdened with guilt because they simply could no longer stay in their toxic marriage.
There are certainly circumstances where, in my opinion, someone who leaves a marriage is not the one destroying it—their life partner is—and staying could, as statistics show, lead them to a mental health facility, a life-threatening situation, or even death.
Our Lord understands that in some cases, a person simply cannot remain in a marriage – because it could ultimately lead them to either a psychiatric institution or an early grave.
For me, according to the Word of our Lord, there are two serious reasons for a marriage to become toxic. The biggest reason why so many Christian marriages are, or become toxic, is because they completely ignore the command that a believer should not marry an unbeliever.
As Scripture clearly teach us:
2 COR 6:14 “Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
The New International Version reads:
2 COR 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
The second biggest reason is that one of the two – although both may be Christians – cannot or does not want to limit their love and affection to their marriage partner alone.
A marriage should be to the glory of Jesus Christ, with Him as the central focus and foundation of the relationship.
1 COR 10:31 So then, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, (including marriage) do all to the glory of [our great] God.
“You can find more writings on this topic under the ‘Ministry’ section of my website, or I can gladly send them to you upon request.”
“When may I divorce and when may I not? – Part 1 and 2.”
Greetings,
Sakkie