CONFESSION OF SINS – Part 3
Sakkie Parsons
Translated from Afrikaans
Translator: Robin Barker
Here is the third and last writing in this short series of thoughts from the Word, where someone wrote the following to me:
“I see all the time the verse from the Bible that if you confess your sins then you will be forgiven. To whom must you confess your sins? Surely God already knows the sins we have committed? I just wonder about those people who can be hurt if I confess those sins to them. I certainly do not want to know if my wife was unfaithful to me, because it will just hurt me if I knew about it. Even more so I do not want to know if a loved one has stolen from me or any other person. This would harm the relationship because you will no longer trust the person near to your possessions. I just wondered about to whom must you confess your sins and I hope you can shine a little light on the subject.”
In this writing I share with you about confessing your sins to our fellowman which I have sinned against.
Now the question is: Must I, if I have sinned against a fellowman, confess my sin to that person; and does that mean that I must always, without exception, confess my sin?
Then my answer, which I personally believe, that the wrong (sin) we have committed against someone, where possible, or actually I must say, where necessary, – we must confess to that person. But I truly think that I should not without exception confess all the sins that I have committed to another person, just for the sake of confessing to that person.
I must certainly confess all my sins to our Lord – also the sins I have committed towards my fellowman.
There are really certain circumstances where I would say, that the sin which you know you have committed against another person, you must confess to our Lord, but then you must ask our Lord if you must personally confess it to that person. You must then listen carefully for what the Holy Spirit says to you in your heart.
I give an example:
I see a woman in the shops and have lustful thoughts about her in my heart.
I certainly cannot, to soothe my conscience, go and confess to her and tell her what I was thinking about her and so confess my sin towards her.
What I must do immediately, is to rebuke satan in the Name of Jesus for shooting that evil arrow at me and as quickly as possible truly confess the evil sin to our Lord so that my relationship between Him and me remains clean and pure.
Like I have mentioned before – Before I confess my sins towards another person, I should firstly confess it to our Lord and then get clarification from Him if I must also confess to the person that I have sinned against.
I share with you another example of what I mean and you know yourself that there is many examples which I could use.
I want to park in a parking bay and someone sees that I want to park there, and they are also looking for parking, they shoot past me and go and park there. I become extremely angry and wish terrible things to happen to that person. Now, and I thank our Lord for His Spirit, my conscience bothers me, as a child of our Lord, about – as a child of our Lord understands, I confess the wrong that appeared in my heart and I ask immediately our Lord for forgiveness.
If I now get out of my car and go to that person to confess to him about what I have just wished in my heart and that he must forgive me, but, because he knows that he has done an injustice towards me, ten to one he is going to think that I am being sarcastic and this will pour oil on to the fire which is already smouldering and which is just waiting to ignite (burst into flames).
Just for interest sake, in case you do not know about this –
Although there is generally many examples in the Word that we should confess our sins, according to my knowledge there is only one place in the Word where we can read that we, now as a Christian, are told that we must confess our sins to one another and this is in JAMES 5:16:
JM 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (TNIV)
Now I do not say, because there is just one example in the Word that we must confess our sins to one another, that it means that we do nót have to confess our sins to one another.
It says to me exactly, the ideal should be to confess our sins to each other – but because you are going to confess to a person, (with all the shortcomings of a human being), it is always best to take the matter to our Lord first. If you however – because of your closeness to the situation – cannot hear our Lords voice clearly (because of you and your involved humanity) then look for a true child of Lord – someone with integrity that you can trust – and discuss the confession you want to make with that person. Then pray again about the matter and then decide how to approach the situation.
Our starting point should really always, as in this situation, after we have prayed, be the Word.
What I mean is this:
If I find myself in a situation and I am unsure of how to proceed, expected of me as a child of God, I look at the Word and see what it tells me about the situation, and then I say to myself:
“It is written”, I then take it from there and start praying.
That must always be the starting point and then – under guidance of the Holy Spirit -make a decision if it is something that I must confess to a person, if I did truly and remorsefully confessed it to our Lord.
To sum up I will begin by saying, like my great hero Paul at an occasion said:
1 COR 7:12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): …
Therefore, I as a child of God, who has received this ministry from our Lord, say the following:
Now I am going to talk with you although I have not had direct instructions from the Lord.
It is not written in the Word, but, as I have shown you above, we should not be ill-prepared; we must not – after we have confessed our sins to our Lord – without consideration, confess it to the one we have sinned against.
Pray first and ask our Lord for His guidance.
Because our Lord knows how the person will handle your confession – also if the person will be able to handle it at all.
In JAMES 5:16 it tells us that I must confess my sin to that person, the person whom I have sinned against, so that healing can come which also includes spiritual healing.
JM 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (TNIV)
My confession must effect (promote, encourage) healing, not to break, damage a relationship, or to inflict more damage or confusion. Forgiveness towards each other must therefore take place as long as it is in love.
So, I must confess that which will encourage healing, and not which will break or destroy.
With what authority do I write to you about what I have just written to you?
I answer just like my great hero Paul who answered when he was asked about a suggestion that he had made. He naturally on occasions wrote about what people had learned:
1 COR 7:40 “In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. (NTIV)
So, because we are not directly told in the Word if we must confess all our sins we have committed towards another person, I close this thought from the Word by saying:
I am truly of the opinion that this, as you have just read, is the truthful manner on how we must look at the forgiveness of sins towards our neighbours and I believe that the advice I have given you has come from God’s Spirit.
Greetings,
Sakkie