MARRIAGE
Sakkie Parsons
Translated from the Afrikaans Version: Die huwelik
Translator: Lynda Botha
Someone asked me if I could write something regarding marriage and I share what I’ve sent to him with you as well.
Please remember when you read this, that I don’t proclaim myself to be a marriage counsellor, but certainly as someone who can also say what Paul has said:
1 COR 7:40 “… I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.”
The first thing that are very clear to me as a child of God, and from a Christian point of view, is that God intended for a marriage to happen between a man and a woman, and only between a man and a woman.
God created the man and the woman for each other in marriage and not between a man and a man, or between a woman and a woman.
GEN 2:18.20-23
18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
20 “He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.”
21 “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.”
22 “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and He brought her to the man.”
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called “woman”, because she was taken from “man.”
Here’s a verse, which seemingly goes unnoticed by many men stated in the Word of God:
GEN 2:24 “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
The KJV states this verse as follows:
GEN 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.”
Here a “mother's boy” who is now a married man to his wife – with whom he has become one in marriage – must place his wife first within a family context. His wife is now the woman of the house and not his mother.
Since I have dealt with many of these problems, I feel quite strongly about this.
A young newly married woman can sometimes feel very powerless. Especially if the man is still quite attached to his mother and she does not want to let him go.
Note that it nowhere states that you must now reject and neglect your parents, but rather to start your life within a new unity together with your wife. Jesus underlines the commandment to honour and respect your father and mother:
MAT 15:4 “For instance, God says, “Honour your father and mother,” and anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.”
However, to honour and respect your father and mother, does not mean that you allow one of them to govern your marriage. This also does not mean that you neglect your parents by never visiting them anymore. It means that you will treat your parents with due respect and reverence and that your parents in turn must treat your marriage and new family life with due respect, reverence and with the necessary privacy that comes with it.
Another aspect is that many people say that this part of the creation is just a tale.
Now let's see what God personally says in this section.
Let's look at what Jesus said regarding this. In other words, when you read this, observe if you can ascertain whether Jesus thought of it as just a tale:
For those who think that Jesus is not God Himself, here is the following scripture:
JOHN 1:1-3
1 “In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
2 “He existed in the beginning with God.”
3 “God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through Him.”
JHN 1:14 “So the Word became human and made His home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen His glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.”
So, let's quickly look at what value Jesus, “The Word who became flesh”, attached to this scripture in in Genesis.
MAT 19:3-9
3 “Some Pharisees came and tried to trap Him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning God made them male and female.”
5 “And He said, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
6 “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.”
8 “Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.”
9 “And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery – unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
Oh, I know that I am dawdling on this specific part, but I've come across these problems so many times before therefore I am placing a little more emphasis on this.
Did you see the part that Jesus specifically quoted, and then He also added something to clarify it even more?
MAT19:5 “And He said, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
MAT 19:6 “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Now I get to this part that is used by many people, in my opinion, out of context:
EPH 5:22-24
22 “For wives, this means submit to your husband as to the Lord.”
23 “For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of His body, the church.”
24 “As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.”
I have spoken to men and then they would mention this section but only partially:
EPH 5:22 “For wives, this means submit to your husband….”
I would prefer that our men out there rather focus on the last part of this verse:
EPH 5:22 “For wives, this means submit to your husband as to the Lord.”
Not like I'm godly but rather not to expect my wife to do something that God would not want me to expect from her.
Likewise, the wife’s behaviour towards her husband should be as if she does it for our Lord.
Then both will do exactly what God wants, which is in anyway what God expects from all Christians to do.
COL 3:23 “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”
COL 3:24 “Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.”
I believe God has made men the head of the house, not to be the boss but only for the sake of order.
There is a saying:
"Too many cooks spoil the broth."
In households where the husband and the wife are competing to be the head of the house, it often goes as another saying goes:
"Too many chiefs and not enough Indians."
In my experience, households where the husband is the head, not the boss, you get God's perfect family living in harmony.
There is something else I should not neglect to show you:
EPH 5:25 “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her.”
Can you see?
It is not an option, it is an order from God, that you must love just your wife like a man is supposed to love his wife.
Note the following in what you have just read …
EPH 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives,”
In conclusion, I should always remember the part which Jesus highlighted in Genesis and underlined:
MAT 19:4-6
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning God made them male and female.”
5 “And He said, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
6 “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Greetings,
Sakkie