MY CHILD IS ABUSED
Sakkie Parsons
Someone wrote to me, asking me what to say to a child who has been sexually abused in their family over a period of time.
In sharing my answer with you, I would like to mention that there are several degrees of sexual abuse/assault and each case is treated accordingly. Here I only mention a few things that are important to me and how our Lord can help you to get around – even as an adult.
Over time I've heard a lot of child abuse in my adult life and that's how I think about it:
To begin with, the most important thing in every human life is to accept JESUS CHRIST as your Lord and your Saviour and give your heart and life to Him. From that moment on, your whole life is new.
So talk to this child about Jesus who loves us so much that He gave His life for us to save us from eternal hell and lead him/her to our Lord if he or she is not His child yet.
Explain to him/her that we, as His children, have now this joy of a wonderful future expectation – to be with our Lord forever, an expectation that we live for, are looking forward to, that motivates us in our daily life and for which we are deeply thankful.
Teach him/her that one can discuss everything in your life with Jesus, to love His Word, and make Him your best Friend.
In this way, you develop a close and intimate relationship with our Lord.
In your daily life with Him, He helps you to leave all things behind you because that's what our Lord wants us to do:
PHI 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
PHI 3:14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
There are probably many psychologists who will come up with a lot of answers, but I can only share with you how I experienced people who could handle sexual abuse and what I would share with such a person.
Number one:
It is not your fault that it has happened. This is the first thing to be brought to the person in the best possible way under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The second is:
Leave it behind you. It is satan who reminds you of this, because he wants to prevent you from living a normal life.
By placing it behind you, you do not give satan an opportunity to influence your life in that area and you can really live a normal life – also in your marriage as a husband/wife.
I think these are the two most important facts that you should try to bring to the child under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, but not to ‘hammer’ on it – that is constantly talk about what had happened.
I think then you just engrave it in the person's memory.
Concentrate on the value of this person’s life that has been abused.
In the book of Hebrews we read how we can compare our life with a race:
HEB 12: 1-3
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
So when we focus on Jesus and on the promise of a new life with Him, we see opportunities for tomorrow and yesterday fade away.
I conclude with the words of a song below as well as a YouTube link where you can listen to the song should you wish to:
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full, in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace”
Greetings,
Sakkie