MY DEAR ONE IS DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA
Sakkie Parsons
Someone wrote me a letter in which she mentions her mother who is far advanced with dementia and it is very difficult for her to handle the dementia of her mother.
I would like to share my answer with her to you but first I want to mention that when we comfort and serve our loved ones who suffer from dementia or any other illness with love and compassion – then we obey the command of our Lord as you can read in Matthew 25 from verses 31-40 from which we learn that whatever we do for others in need or illness, we do for our Lord Himself.
Personally I think I have an idea that might be going on in your mind because I was, concerning my wife, about exactly in the same circumstances as you are with your mother.
Therefore, I want to start by saying the following:
Just remember – How perplexing it may seem to you and me as we are human – for the child of God, everything works out for the good.
ROM 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Let me share with you one example from the past that you know very well and if you want to, put yourself in the place of the mom I'm going to tell you about and put your child whom you love the most in the place of the child in this example.
There Maria is standing. It's her oldest Child who just been nailed on the cross and now she has to experience how her beloved Son is dying the most terrible torturing death.
She knew she was a virgin when she became pregnant with Him. She remembers that the angel told her that this Son of her is the Saviour of the world – and yet – now He is hanging on the cross, He breathed His last breath.
She might have looked at His dead body on the cross and saw a few drops of blood dropping in the dust on the ground. With an absolute broken heart, she might have asked herself the following question:
“How can it be possible that something good can come from this horrifying cruel tragedy that is taking place before my eyes?"
Later she would find out that in the whole creation of mankind, there has never been anything so great in all mankind that has happened!
If you could someday ask her personally what was of the most beautiful words in her life she ever heard, she might tell you the day she heard:
LUK 1:30 And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.
LUK 1:31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus.
At the time, in the ultra-conservative culture that she lived on earth, it was certain (put yourself in her shoes for a moment) the most terrible thing to tell the man she loves knowing that he will know for sure that he is not the father: "I'm Pregnant."
I think if you would ask her further, what were the next most beautiful words, after what the angel told her, that she'd ever heard in her life on earth?
It might be: (Remember her circumstances in that time on earth when her Son died and she heard and saw what happened):
JOH 19:30 When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, "It is finished," and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
So you see – You and I are our Lord's children for whom Jesus hung on the cross – and God do not lie – Therefor we can surely know that if God Almighty has written to us, His children, that nothing can happen to us, if it is not eventually the best for us, then what is happening to you or me at this moment, which in our humanity simply does not make sense – just as it certainly did not make sense to Mary at the time – indeed that what is happening, is the best for us.
Therefore, with great certainty, we can testify with my great hero Paul:
2COR 4:8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;
2COR 4:9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;
Of course we do not understand everything now. In fact, sometimes, I understand very little. No, in fact, I do not really understand anything bad at the moment that comes my way, but I remember the following from our Lord's precious Word:
1COR 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
With this knowledge, I still remember Jesus' words to you and me. It is the same Jesus whom Mary, His mother, saw hanging on the cross – suffering crucifixion so that you and I could receive the loving grace of God to walk unblemished into heaven:
MAT 10: 29-31
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
30 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
With this certain knowledge in our hearts, we can, in the Spirit, ‘shift the backpack on our back right with what we have to carry’ and we get up straight again, pull our shoulders back and move firmly and confidently forward – for we have this wonderful conviction and faith:
At the end of this road, and who knows, maybe it's just on the horizon, but surely – Heaven's open gate is waiting for you and me!
In this, I conclude my writing to you with the following:
LUKE 21:18-19
18 But not a hair of your head will perish.
19 By your endurance you will gain your lives.
Greetings,
Sakkie