MY LOVED ONE COMMITTED SUICIDE
Sakkie Parsons
Translated from Afrikaans: “My geliefde het selfmoord gepleeg”
Someone wrote to me concerning her loved-one committed suicide and how does one come to terms with something like that.
It is of course a tremendously traumatic tragedy when you experience it, to put it this way, from someone you knew – and even more so for you, who now must come to terms with the suicide of someone you dearly loved.
Usually, one is left with so many questions and sometimes even with a large amount of self-blame and moreover, if it was for example your life partner, all the problems surrounding the person’s suicide, which you now also must deal with by yourself.
I now first talk to people who are followers of Jesus Christ.
I want to show you what I find in the Word, how we have to deal with everything in our life as well as from the past, what we cannot do anything about – and what I think is the best way to deal with the bad from the past – but not only is this the best way to deal with it, but ultimately it is really also the only way to deal with it.
First, I want to share with you a little from the past of the man whom our Lord used to teach us, you and me, this great truth:
Saul of Tarsus was a great, in his time, one of the biggest persecutors of Jesus’ followers.
ACTS 8:3 But Saul began ravaging the church [and assaulting believers]; entering house after house and dragging off men and women, putting them in prison.
Not only did he persecute Jesus ‘ followers with everything that was in him. He was also complicit in the murder of Jesus ‘ followers:
ACTS 7:58-59
58Then they drove him out of the city and began stoning him; and the witnesses placed their outer robes at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59They continued stoning Stephen as he called on the Lord and said, “Lord Jesus, receive and accept and welcome my spirit!”
ACTS 9:1-2
1Now Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord [and relentless in his search for believers], went to the high priest, 2and he asked for letters [of authority] from him to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any men or women there belonging to the Way [believers, followers of Jesus the Messiah], men and women alike, he could arrest them and bring them bound [with chains] to Jerusalem.
Not only was he also complicit in the murder of Jesus’ followers, but according to his own testimony, he was also a murderer of Jesus ‘ followers:
ACTS 22:4-5
4I persecuted and pursued the followers of this Way to the death, binding them with chains and putting [followers of Jesus] both men and women into prisons, 5as the high priest and all the Council of the elders (Sanhedrin, Jewish High Court) can testify; because from them I received letters to the brothers, and I was on my way to Damascus in order to bring those [believers] who were there to Jerusalem in chains to be punished.
Just a little background, so that you can see what Saul of Tarsus’ past looked like – and you don’t even get close to him when it comes to bad (and in his case), simply, evil past.
But – Saul of Tarsus takes Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and as Jesus’ follower, now Paul of Christ look at his past – and he does what a follower of Jesus Christ should do with everything that is bad in your life, and in your past, that you no longer can do anything about it.
It’s also really, if you cut it to the bone, the only option:
You make peace with the past, in other words, you realize that you can do nothing, absolutely nothing about it and you forget about it – as I will now show you from the Word, that this is possible with the help of our Lord.
Saul of Tarsus was, as you have now read, according to the Bible and his own testimony, a great persecutor and murderer of Jesus’ followers.
Then he did in all sincerity what I am going to show you, what you must also do, and Jesus use him – and Paul of Christ become the greatest apostle of all time!
It was probably not easy for him either, because there is a satan who constantly reminds us of the wrong in our past.
However, this is ultimately the only solution that we will manage with Jesus‘ help, if we really ask for Jesus‘ help – and then believe and trust Him.
Paul writes on occasion and tells us what he did and what we will of course also be able to do with great success:
PHIL 3:13-14
13Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the [heavenly] prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Why could he do that?
Because as a follower of Jesus Christ, he knew and unwaveringly believed this – which you must also do:
1JOHN 1:9-10
9If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and (in sincerity) confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose]. 10If we say that we have not sinned [refusing to admit acts of sin], we make Him [out to be] a liar [by contradicting Him] and His word is not in us.
While you are working on this in your life, remember that our Lord will never hold you responsible for what your loved one did:
We will all appear before our Lord one day – but not to stand up for what other people have done in or around our lives – and if we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour, we will not be condemned either, but we will be judged:
1 COR 3:11-15
11for no one can lay a foundation other than the one which is [already] laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12But if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, (which cannot be burned) silver, which cannot be burned), precious stones, (which cannot be burned), wood, (which can be burned),hay, (which can be burned), straw, (which can be burned), 13each one’s work will be clearly shown [for what it is]; for the day [of judgment] will disclose it, because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality and character and worth of each person’s work. 14If any person’s work which he has built [on this foundation, that is, any outcome of his effort] remains [and survives this test], he will receive a reward. 15But if any person’s work is burned up [by the test], he will suffer the loss [of his reward]; yet he himself will be saved, but only as [one who has barely escaped] through fire.
Because you see, as I mentioned to you:
ROM 8:1 1Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior].
Yes! How wonderful:
JOHN 1:12 12But to as many as did receive and welcome Him, He gave the right [the authority, the privilege] to become children of God, that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name—
Jesus , who sacrificed His life for you and me, to get us to Him, says to you again today:
JOHN 5:24 “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, the person who hears My word [the one who heeds My message], and believes and trusts in Him who sent Me, has (possesses now) eternal life [that is, eternal life actually begins—the believer is transformed], and does not come into judgment and condemnation, but has passed [over] from death into life.
Maybe you who are reading here have not yet accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour, but you have a lot of self-blame in your life – especially from your past.
Perhaps you are left with bad feelings about what someone in your life or in your past has done to you, and you may be asking in your heart; What should I do?
What is the answer now for you?
Well, you are now reading this letter that someone sent you and through this letter, Jesus – in His great love – says to you today:
MAT 11:28-30 Come to Me
28“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation].
29Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST (renewal, blessed quiet) FOR YOUR SOULS. 30“For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.”
How great is this love with which Jesus, God who became man, give you this invitation?
JOHN 15:13-14
13No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you keep on doing what I command you.
The Bible, God’s words on paper, says – and if you read it, you will see that it also includes yourself –
JHN 3:16-17
16“For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life.
17For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him. (That is every person who accepts him, including you)
I now close this letter to you with the following from our Lord’s precious Word:
1JHN 5:13-14 This Is Written That You May Know
13These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God [which represents all that Jesus Christ is and does], so that you will know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that you [already] have eternal life. 14This is the [remarkable degree of] confidence which we [as believers are entitled to] have before Him: that if we ask anything according to His will, [that is, consistent with His plan and purpose] He hears us.
And it is assured, as I understand the Word, our Lord’s will, that satan should not chastise you over things you now have no control.
Greetings,
Sakkie